Feel like I'm Dying to Learn Rag

C'mon all of you high school grads
Uncle Sam needs your help real bad
Got himself a terrible jam
In someplace called Afghanistan
Pack up your books and load up a gun
We're gonna have a whole lot of fun

And its one, two, three "What are we fightin' for"?
Don't ask me, I don't give a damn
Just want that Federal Grant.
And its five, six, seven... Open up those Pearly Gates!
Ain't no time to wave Good Bye
Whoopee! We're all gonna die.

C'mon Congressmen let's move fast
Your one chance has come at last
Gotta blow smoke about the Meds
Cause the only cheap patient is one that's dead
You know that seats just can't be won
When we've taxxed them all to Kingdom Come.

And it's one, two three, "What are we voting for?"
Don't ask me, I know its a sham
Just want that Federal Grant
And it's five, six, seven... What the hell was WaterGate?
Ain't no time to wonder why.
Whoopee! We're all gonna die

C'mon Bankers don't lend slow
The Stimulus is go go go
Plenty of money to be made
Selling bad loans the Feds have saved.
Next time you go and kite a bond 
Back it with the Taliban!

And its one, two, three "What am I spending on?"
Don't ask me, It's way too hard
To pay my credit card
And its five, six seven... Gotta get a lower rate!
Ain't no time to save a dime
Whoopee! We're all gonna die!

C'mon Scientists now confess
Your techniques have caused a mess
The ice is melting and the earth is mad
That C O 2 is just plain bad
When the labs get flooded and you need a boat
Be glad the Greeks taught you all how to float.

And its one, two, three... "What am I living for?"
Don't ask me I don't have a Plan
Just doing the best I can
And it's five, six, seven.. Hopin' for those Pearly Gates
Ain't no rhyme or reason why,
Whoopee! We're all gonna die.

With thanks, and apologies, to Country Joe MacDonald  --forty years too late.


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